How Would You Like To Be…

Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.”

So after the somewhat despondent undertones of that last post, I felt like it was the least I could do to make the next post at least semi-funny. Unfortunately, I rarely come up with my own material, and so once again I will rely on the clever humor of someone else to elicit laughter from an audience, and then take credit for it. Awhile ago I sent my missionary brother some pictures in an email. He was having a rough time and I was doing my sisterly duty to try and cheer him up, being thousands of miles away. Anyway, these pics always gave us a worthy chuckle, so hopefully they’ll amuse at least a little part of you. Enjoy yo’selves, biatches.
“You look like a… Something.”
Like I don’t?
Chris Farley, circa 1978. When he was a baby. Girl.
Don’t act like you’re not impressed.
Your mom.
“I love Krithpy Kremetheth.” Yeah, way to go, Champ.
And drumroll please. The end all, be all of internet pictures. I was so thrilled when I stumbled upon this that I actually considered myself lucky and took up gambling. I call him Bernard.
Some things not pictured but which I can totally appreciate, humor-wise, and upon which I put my B.A. Golden Stamp of Hilarious:
1) Midgets in a hurry. But no other kind of midget, because for the most part, midgets are creepier than any serial killer.
2) Arrested Development (R.I.P.)
3) The Sword and Quill club at BYU (Whyyyyyyyy)
4) Joel McHale
5) The old lady’s face in The Wedding Singer when she watches Adam Sandler eat the two meatballs she plops in his bare hands. Pa ha.
6) Lord of the Dance
7) Bret Michaels
8) The chubby window-washer at Guru’s whose hairy stomach was pressed up against the glass while LaRee and I were eating lunch. Actually, that was more grotesque than funny.
9er) That Juicy Fruit commerical where there’s only one pack of Juicy Fruit gum left and neither the male teenager nor the large African-American woman will relinquish their grip on it so it shows them in various situations- like while the lady’s shaving her legs with one hand and holding the gum with the other, whilst the teenager is still holding onto it too… … You’d have to see it.
10) The SNL Jeopardy skit with Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds.
11) Norm McDonald
12) Hit and runs. JK.
13) Anything and everything Britney did, from K-Fed through post K-Fed. Funniest trainwreck to watch, maybe ever.
14) NOFX songs
Peace and Love.

By and By (For Uncle Brad)

“…and it left a dreadful sort of goneness…”

-Anne of Green Gables

I finally accomplished something by doing absolutely nothing: I managed to live an almost quarter century without having to experience the inevitable, the utmost breaking of one’s heart- the tragic circumstance of death. Continue reading

Welcome To My World

“[S]he was at heart, a dilettante, and thinking over a pleasure to come often gave him [her] a subtler satisfaction than it’s realization.”
– The Age of Innocence

So… Welcome to my world. Since my propensity for watching smutty television, idling away on Facebook for grotesque amounts of time, and my seemingly endless amounts of schoolwork don’t seem to ransom enough of my time, and since at least four people have told me I should start a blog (which is the exact amount of people it takes to convince me to do something), I decided to just go ahead and go blog myself. Though my life is sometimes bleakly mediocre, in my own imaginistic perspective, it is truly enchanting. And because I do imagine the crap outta things, as practically perfect as their manifestation may be, the “thing” rarely meets my imaginistic expectations. (Thus that quote at the top… Oh so fitting.) So, as one terribly indignant of boredom, I will try and keep this “thing” as far from boring as my mind will allow. In a letter to his brother Theo, Vincent Van Gogh once wrote: “Stretches in reality, lies, if you will, [are] often necessary”, and that just may be the theme of this whole thing. JK. But seriously.

Peace and Love.

Artwork: “Vase of Roses” by Vincent Van Gogh