i’ll remember you

Yesterday I got some news that a dear friend had passed away. My heart has been ever so heavy for hours and hours and tears are insistent, try as I may to keep them at bay. I have always been an advocate of words as catharsis, but words seem frail when we’re hollowed out by grief. Oh how I miss you, my friend. One of my personal waves of grief is just wanting Heaven closer. There is something cruel about knowing where your dear one has gone and yet having no way of getting there without Heaven itself calling you there. There is a quote that I love, though, that says, “Children are the hands by which we take hold of Heaven”. I have found so much joy in working with my little ones these last several months. Their beaming eyes and warm spirits have brightened my life. The last couple of days have been colored in sorrowful hues of ache and emptiness. But children always bring their own precious brand of light and healing. I have been meaning to compile these little gems for sometime now. For someone who was utterly devoted to his nieces and nephews, it seems like this is something he would have appreciated wholly. Here are some laughs for you, JKRB. You are forever in our hearts.
{To protect the children’s privacy, name’s have been changed.}

“Miss Brittany, I went poop.”

“You know why I’m making another card? Because every day my mom throws away my pictures.”

“One day my brother lost a toenail and he used it as a guitar pic.”

“A statement is when a man cements something to the state.”

“Can I may be excused?”

Me: “Do you know my name?”
“Uh huh!”
Me: “What is it?”
“I dunno!”

“My grandpa died bc he ate too many cigarettes.”

“I have grape jelly at my house!”

“Miss Brittany, you a nice person.”

(On Cinco de Mayo) “Today is Pinko Piscaco, they celebrate it in Mexico.”

*Observes an unopened yogurt on the lunch table* “But whose yogurt this is?”
Me: “That is Miss Bella’s yogurt.”
“She needs to eat it or else her mom will be mad.”

“Look what I have in here– *pulls shirt down* –boobies!!”

“In my dream there was a pink octopus and a pit-bull and a gray one and a yellow one and they were finding all their kids.”

“Miss Bernie– her say a bad word!”
Me: “What word did she say?”
*whispers* “Her say, ‘sand-dollar’.”

“Yes, of course.” -a child’s response to everything I ask him

“Is Harper* a girl or what?”

“I cannot smell because I am not a pup.”

“Why do you have nails like me? Wait- are you a girl?”
Me: “Yes, I’m a girl.”
“Then how come boys can’t turn into girls?”

“I cannot turn into a girl because I do not have any magic.”

“We found a dead lizard in the pool so I put it in a safe place under the couch.”

“When I was a baby I was hiding in my mom’s tummy with a small foot.”

*uses gluestick* “I’m using my muscles for this.”

“Miss Brittany you know my mom had a baby and I have cereal at my house.”

*playing with gender ambiguous doll* “He’s pee pee fall off!”

“Miss Brittany, are you a grown up?”

“I drew you a picture of a grass.”

Me: “Ok and 1 + 5 is?”

“Miss Brittany are you real?”

peace and so much love.




Just Because

 “I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.”
-Lucille Bluth
I’m totally swiping this post off another blog I lurked on today. But I thought it was funciful and so now I’m putting my Brittanyesque spin on it. Well, not so much as putting my own spin on it so much as answering the questions myself…

Continue reading

All I Needed Was the Rain

umbrella sketch
“When I consider how my light is spent,

Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent, which is death to hide,
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent…”
-John Milton, “Sonnet On His Blindness” 

There’s an alluring summer storm brewing outside. The bellowing thunder is in good company with the “hard rain” that’s falling. There was a time not too long ago, when it rained with such insistence that the only explanation was that Utah’s lover was unfaithful  and all Utah could do to alleviate the pain was cry and cry. Continue reading

Starting Today

{ hol-i-day }
 1. a day fixed by law or custom on which ordinary business is suspended in commemoration of some event or in honor of some person. 
 2. of or pertaining to a festival; festive; joyous: a holiday mood.
Oh by no means is it an altogether recognized “holiday” to most people. But I am not most people, and The First Day of Summer is, in every above sense of the word, a holiday to me. Continue reading

Hard Knocks

“I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”
-Oscar Wilde

There are so, so many things I love about life- which I’m sure you’ve gathered. There are some things I hate about it, too. In the true spirit of Sunday, let me just elucidate for you a few of my non-favorite things. Just in case we ever meet, you will know what not to talk to me about. Ready, set, go…  Continue reading